Вступление
DAmCF, DAmCFDAmC
Pulling the ice axe from my leg, I staggered on
FDAmCF
Spindrift stinging my remaining eye
DAm
I finally managed to reach the station
CFDAmCF
Only to find that the bus replacement service had broken down
DAm
After wondering to myself whether or not it should
CF
Actually be called a train replacement service
DAm
I walked out onto the concourse
CFD
And noticed the giant screen seemed to have been tampered with
AmCF
Probably by a junior employee.
DAmCF
Disgruntled commuters were being regaled with some dismal TVM
DAmC
Involving a tug-of-love custody battle;
FDAmCFDAmCF
Stockard Channing held sway.
DAmC
Down in the High Street somebody careered out of Boots
F
Without due care or attention
DAmC
I suggest that they learn some pedestrian etiquette
FDAmCFDAmCF
I.e. sidle out of the store gingerly - embrace the margin.
DAmCFDAmCF
Fat kids with sausage rolls, poor sods conducting polls.
DAmCFDAmCF
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets.
DAm
I try to put everything into perspective,
CF
Set it against the scale of human suffering
DAm
And I thought of the Mugabe government
CF
And the children of the Calcutta railways
DAmCF
This works for a while but then I encounter Primark FM
DAmCFE
Overhead a rainbow appears - in black and white.
DAmCFDAmC
Shite Day, I guess this must be National Shite Day
FDAmC
This surely must be National Shite Day
FDAmCF (Inst D Am C F x8)
Don't tell me it's National Shite Day.
DAmCFDAmCFDAmCF
Float, float on. Float, float on
DAmCFDAmCF
Barry Herpes.
DAm
I got a letter from Stringy Bob
CF
"Still on suicide watch, screws not happy.
DAmC
Spotted a Marsh Fritillary during Association
FDAmCF
Was roundly ignored; what news you?"
DAm
I felt sorry for him
CF
He'd only been locked up for public nuisance offences
DAmC
One of which saw him beachcombing the Dee Estuary
FDAm
Found a dead wading bird, took it home, parcelled it up
CF
And sent it off to the rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool
DAmCFDAmCF
With a note inside which read: "Is this your Sanderling?"
DAmCF
Another time saw him answering an advert in the music press
DAmCF
"Keyboard player required - Doors, Floyd, etc.
DAmCFDAmCF
Must be committed; no time wasters" - you can guess the rest.
DAmCF
I'd always imagined he would simply wander off some day into the hills
DAmCF
To be found months later, his carcass stripped by homeless dogs
DAmCFDAmCF
His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow
DAmCF
I folded away the letter and put it in my inside pocket
DAmCFDAmCF
All of a sudden I felt brushed by the wings of something dark
DAmCFE
May the Lord have mercy on Stringy Bob.
DAmCFDAmC
Shite Day, I do believe it's National Shite Day
FDAmC
It all points to National Shite Day
FDAmCFE
Someone's declared it National Shite Day.
DAmCFDAmC
Shite Day, my birthday on National Shite Day
FDAmC
No bog roll, it's National Shite Day
FDAmCF (D Am C F to fade)
Cue drum roll, it's National Shite Day.
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Каким боем играть песню Half Man Half Biscuit
- National Shite Day? Голосуй!